Cinepub


Review: Movie 43 by Jamie

There will come a time in human history when we’ll have to look back on what we’ve done collectively as a species. Genocide, global warming, war… There’s a lot we have to feel guilty about is what I’m saying. And now, thanks to Peter Farrelly, we have a new atrocity to add to that list in the form of a steaming cinematic turd named ‘Movie 43’. Jesus fucking Christ, I don’t even now where to begin.

Ok, so this movie has two versions. Living in the UK, I saw the one released here which involves three teenagers trying to find the eponymous Movie 43, the most banned film in the world because watching it will lead to the destruction of the world somehow. During their internet search they come across several vignettes which make up the bulk of the film. The really shocking thing and the reason that this film has gotten any exposure at all, rather than being left on the trash heap of cinematic history as it so rightly deserves, is that for some reason this film stars actual people that you’ve actually heard of. I mean real famous actors like Hugh Jackman, Kate Winslet, Richard Gere, Emma Stone, Halle Berry and many, many more. I don’t know why these people agreed to be in this. Maybe they thought they’d get to seem like they had a sense of humour or that they’d be perceived as being edgy in some way. I’m sure that the fact that these were shorts meaning they could be done relatively quickly also helped to convince a few of them in some way.

To say that this film is not funny would be like saying…. I don’t know. There isn’t anything I can compare it to which will properly convey how funny Movie 43 isn’t. It’s like comedy got cancer and people were actively preventing a cure from being found. It is to comedy what the vacuum of space is to human survival.

The majority of the sketches focus on some form of gross out, politically incorrect or absurd premise which can make for some great comedy. Here, though, it’s just terrible. The reason? Everyone is trying so desperately hard to be funny. It’s like those fucking ‘Insert Genre Here’ Movie movies and parody films like them where they’re afraid you might not get the joke so they hammer it hard leaving you with absolutely no doubt what it is that they are trying to parody. At least with those movies the joke is pretty quick and moves on to the next thing. With Movie 43, whole segments revolve around one joke and they hammer it so hard that all that’s left at the end is the joke’s smashed corpse and nobody is laughing.

For example, Hugh Jackman and Kate Winslet’s segment is about the fact that Hugh Jackman has balls on his neck. That’s the joke. It’s like the filmmakers saw ‘Men In Black II’ and decided the Ballchinian deserved something more than the few seconds he got on screen. GAHFUCKINGFUCKITYFUCK!

Excuse me. Look, don’t see this movie. If you somehow end up in a situation where you have to choose between this and suicide, well, I mean you should probably just watch this because it’s only an hour and forty minutes long and suicide is forever but if you’re the kind of person who finds themselves in that kind of situation you probably deserve it. I can say there was one moment that elicited a chuckle from me and that was when Emma Stone says “He was a Wizard!” in response to some asking her about sucking off a hobo for magic beans. It’s really more her delivery than the script though. Man, Emma Stone is great. Ok, this seems to be devolving in to some stream of consciousness thing so I’m just gonna rate this thing and get the fuck out of here. I give this film I have only ever given once before. This film gets Unicum, Hungary’s national drink, out of five. If you’ve ever tasted Unicum then you know why. Laterz.

Movie 43 Can Go Fuck Itself



Review: The Fighter by Jamie

Boxing is a sport I’ve never been that interested in. After watching this film, I think I understand why. If boxing was shown on TV in the same way it’s shown in films with great close-ups and dramatic camera angles, I would watch it every time it was on. Sadly it’s generally just watching two people punching each other. So I guess what I’m saying is I don’t really like boxing but I really enjoy films about it.

So, The Fighter is based on the true story of Micky Ward (Mark Wahlberg), his half-brother Dicky Ecklund (Christian Bale) and the various other people in their life. Dicky was known as ‘The Pride of Lowell’ (Lowell, Massachusetts, the town where they both live) after he fought Sugar Ray Leonard. He’s currently having a documentary about him being made by HBO which he hopes will enable him to make a comeback. Micky on the other hand has been that successful in the boxing world. He’s managed by his mother Alice (Mellissa Leo) and trained by Dicky a combination that probably hampers his chances more than helping them.

You see, having tasted success and not really doing much with it, Dicky has slipped into using crack, something which his mother seems to ignore, at least at first, because it’s clear that Dicky is her favourite son. Because of his addiction, Dicky is regularly late for training sessions with his brother leaving him at a bit of a disadvantage when it comes to fighting. Also his family don’t seem to know exactly what is best for Micky’s career, convincing him to fight an opponent who is heavier and taller when his scheduled opponent drops out due to illness. Micky loses badly which prompts him to give up on boxing altogether so he can focus on real life and a relationship with Charlene Flemming (Amy Adams).

Alice arranges another fight for Micky but he brings up an offer he’s received to be paid to be trained in Vegas. Dicky, desperate to keep his brother nearby so he can continue working with him, offers to raise the money and pay Micky instead. He goes about this in a… let’s say technically very illegal manner which leads to a brilliant chase scene where he’s pursued by the cops. Micky get’s involved when he sees his brother being brutalized by the police and the two brothers are arrested though not before a policeman breaks Micky’s hand with a truncheon. Micky is freed and Dicky is sent to jail.

That’s about where I reckon I’ll leave the synopsis since it’s pretty much where the trailer gets up to and going any further is going into spoiler territory.

So what can I say about ‘The Fighter’? Well, it’s a pretty amazing film to be honest. Yes, it’s Oscar season so you’re probably gonna see a few of these reviews around here at the moment (Although the only other one I’ve really seen is True Grit so maybe just one more). The performances are amazing and much has already been said about Christian Bale. Yes, he is brilliant in this and deserves the nominations he’s gotten but I’m quite surprised that Mark Wahlberg’s performance seems to have been overlooked somewhat in all the things I’ve read about it.

It’s Wahlberg and the relationships he has with the other characters throughout the film that provide the real depth to the film… Hmmm, that’s not fair. Bale is indeed a massive part of it, especially his addiction to crack. I suppose a better thing to say is that this is both actors doing what they do best. Wahlberg is very good at being understated and it can be hard to see how good of a job he’s doing compared to the much more frantic and bombastic character that Bale is playing.

Adams and Leo are also great, particularly when they are on screen together (along with the seemingly thousands of sisters that Dicky and Micky have). The tension between them is so thick you could cut it with some kind of cutting device. They both feel as if they know what’s best for Micky and they genuinely seem to hate each other because those ideas are in such conflict.

The plot of the film is actually pretty much secondary to the development of the characters which, to be honest, is probably a good thing. The story is interesting and all that but it plays out quite predictably. Of course, it is based on a true story so I suppose that was the way it had to play out but without the great depth giving to the characters this would have honestly been a rather standard sports film that probably wouldn’t be getting as much attention as it is.

Right, that’ll do. Man, I hate reviewing films I liked because I have to reign myself in from giving too much away and then I feel as though the reviews are short and lacklustre. Ah well, never mind. Four pints out of five. Laterz.




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