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Review: Foxcatcher by Jamie
10/01/2015, 9:21 pm
Filed under: Review | Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

Have you ever had boring sex? I mean like completely and absolutely terrible boring sex? Well I have and there is literally no other way to describe how I felt about Foxcatcher without going in to this because it’s my point of reference. So anyway, I had sex once whilst wearing a super safe condom and it went on for about as long as the running time of Foxcatcher. And it was boring. It was boring as hell. I honestly couldn’t tell you if we finished or not. To be fair, I don’t think we did. I think both parties just agreed this was a lost cause and maybe we should just go for a drink or something… Right, Foxcatcher. Foxcatcher is like that. Because even during the most boring sex you have ever had, your brain, and I admit I speak exclusively for males here, will try and convince you that this is awesome because you’re having sex. But there’s something in the back of your mind telling you that as awesome as this is, something is not quite right. Something is off and it’s not worth it to drag it out but you will because sex.

This is the experience of watching Foxcatcher. You know it’s an Oscar season release and so you’re initially forgiving during the opening because, hey, some of the best movies start of slow, right? And of course, you’ve heard great things about Steve Carell so maybe things will pick up when he’s on screen. And they do, for a moment. And then once the novelty has worn off you’re just like huh? Yeah, that was Steve Carell and he was definitely doing an impression of that guy I watched a YouTube video of earlier. Good for him.

I kid Steve Carell but to be fair, he’s great in this. Everyone is. It’s just the directing that is so fucking poor. This movie was around two hours and forty five minutes long. If they’d cut out every slow, ponderous scene where someone drives a car or two people sit down and one of them composes themselves for a minute before talking or cut out every scene where people just weren’t talking to each other, this easily would have been an hour and a half. Easily. And yeah, I get that the latter example there, people sitting and not talking to each other, can be used to great effect to build dramatic tension but once you’ve spent an entire movie watching people sit around and not talking, it kind of loses it’s dramatic effect and just winds up being “Oh great, another minute or two dragging this shit out.”

In conclusion, because I can’t be bothered to write about this any more, I feel like this was a potentially great story, poorly told. I mean Channing Tatum’s character was the main character through the entirety of the film but hey, last half hour you’d best forget about him. And going back to the boring sex analogy, this film is boring sex with a pretty good orgasm but it’s still over so quickly and without the end result really gelling quite well enough with the build up that it’s ultimately disappointing. In conclusion, again (yes I realise that I wrote that already but I got distracted because booze) this film was less an actual film than it was a slideshow with some story thrown in to try and distract you from the fact that it is just awful. And yet it’s not awful, thankfully because of it’s actors. They all really shine and I can’t help but get the feeling that even they were pissed off by the director’s ‘style’ because everything just feels flat, pedestrian. Dull. Yeah, so anyway this has been instant drunk reviews. 1 1/5 out of five for the acting but everything else? Fuck this movie.

Foxcatcher



2011 in Film: Number 3 : The Dilemma by Jamie

Oh, Kevin James. Kevin James, Kevin James, Kevin James. Those two words strike fear into my heart. I have never seen a film that starred Kevin James that was in anyway worth watching. It’s not fair to say I hate the man, though he certainly doesn’t make it any easier on himself by releasing shit like Paul Blart: Mall Cop and Zookeeper.

So it is with no small amount of trepidation that I watched The Dilemma, a film starring James, Vince Vaughan, Jennifer Connelly and Winona Ryder. It’s a relatively good cast, aside from James, to be fair though Vince Vaughan certainly has his off days. The basic premise of the story is that Nick (James) and Ronny (Vaughan) are two best friends and partners in an automobile engineering company. They’ve developed a new type of electrical engine which makes the noise of the muscle car engines of the past. They need to get all of the kinks out before a big meeting with Dodge that could make or break their company.

At the same time, Ronny is planning on proposing to his girlfriend Beth(Connelly) and whilst checking out the botanical gardens that he thinks will be the perfect place in which to do that, he spies Nick’s wife Geneva (Ryder) making out with a different man, Skip (Channing Tatum). This understandably shocks the fuck out of Ronny and he finds himself in the titular dilemma. Should he tell his best friend? Confront his cheating spouse? Would telling him bring more stress to a friendship that is already strained by the importance of the deal with Dodge? Yes, it certainly is a dilemma indeed.

Anyway, the rest of the film is filled with the kind of wacky misadventures that you’d probably expect from this kind of film, many of them ending with Ronny getting injured in some manner. I suppose the moral is if you don’t do the right thing then really you’re only hurting yourself. His sneaking around trying to catch Geneva out also has the unintended consequence of making all of his friends and family think that he has fallen back into an old gambling addiction that he apparently had. Still, this is a pretty formulaic film and I’m sure you can guess how the whole thing ends.

Along with all of these shenanigans, the movie seems to throw in dramatic and emotional scenes, creating tonal shifts that could cause whiplash. If there’s one thing I’ve learnt about movies in January it’s that they are generally released at this time because the studios don’t seem to have much faith in them and it seems to me as though the number one reason that they lack that faith is because the movies don’t seem to know what they want to be. I guarantee you that if this had just been a straight up comedy featuring James and Vaughan, it would have received a later release date. I’m not saying it would have been any good, it just would have been released later.

Perhaps the part of this movie that I enjoyed most was Channing Tatum. He is actually a genuinely funny guy and his few scenes in this film actually made me laugh more often than not. Good for him. He’s made me really kinda wanna go and see 21 Jump Street. Other than him though, the film, whilst not particularly terrible, isn’t in anyway recommendable either. On the whole, it was a little better than I thought it would be but not by a lot. There are major problems with the plot such as it being too formulaic, too predictable and it also doesn’t really address the fact that Beth’s infidelity isn’t her fault alone with Nick clearly having some part in the break down of the relationship. Maybe if you catch it on TV it might be worth a watch but that’s the only time I’d bother. Two pints out of five. Laterz.




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