Cinepub


Review: The Expendables 2 by Jamie

 

BANG!!! BOOM!!! FURTHER EXPLOSION NOISE FOLLOWED OR PRECEDED BY A CHEESY ONE LINER!!! Yes, I don’t think I’m giving away too much when I put forth exactly what’s expected of the sequel to The Expendables nor am I really entering spoiler territory when I say that, yes, the film has explosions, gunfights, gratuitous violence, call backs to the stars previous films and veins that bulge in a way that truly, truly disgusts me. Yes, it’s exactly what you expect, yet another throw back to the 80s when action heroes were real men, quick on the draw and even quicker with a quip and my sweet fucking God, it is awesome.

To write a synopsis of the “plot” would be an insult to the words synopsis and plot. The story is so threadbare that you couldn’t use it to make a sweater for a fly. Stallone good, Van Damme bad. There. Honestly though, the lack of a plot is fine with me. As long as I get to see some ass kickery and men who are old enough to really know better doing stupid, awesome things. More men who are old enough to know better join the cast in the form of the previously mentioned Jean-Claude Van Damme and Chuck Norris. Hell, why not add an actor just to satisfy an Internet joke that’s almost as old as the main stars of this film? And no, Norris can’t act. Hell, I’m a better actor and my experience only includes playing a Roman Emperor in a school play when I was 9 and playing a pretty much non-speaking gangster when I was 15. Arnie and Bruce Willis return with expanded roles and they really, really seem like they’re having a good time.

Now there is perhaps one problem I have with this film and that’s that the violence seemed as though it had perhaps been toned down a little. Yes, there were still some pretty sweet deaths and sprays of blood but it didn’t seem anything like the chaos of the last film. On the other hand there’s also a lot less time spent watching Stallone running like the man 4 years away from 70 that he is so maybe it’s a fair trade.

So that’s about all for the review because, honestly, you already know if you’re the type of person who is going to see this movie so this is really more a reassurance than a review. Yes, everything you want is there. Go, watch it and hope that they get Kurt Russell for number three. Laterz.

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Review: Iron Sky by Jamie

Moon Nazis! There you go. There’s a certain sub-section of film fans out there who will read those two words and try and see this film as soon as possible. And with good reason. Nazis coming from the moon is such a damn good idea that it’s hard to see exactly why it hasn’t been done before. We’ve already seen Nazi Zombies, though that probably has more to do with the unrelenting Zombie trend that the world is currently going through, and Nazi’s fighting cigar-chomping demons so it seems odd that it’s taken this long for the idea of Moon Nazis to make it to the big screen especially considering the fact that one theory for UFO sightings during WW2 was that they were secret Nazi aircraft.

Still, it has taken this long and it comes in the form of a fully crowdso0urced film. Yes, the money for this project came from the donations of people who wanted to see this thing made and why wouldn’t they? Again, Moon Nazis! The fund raising efforts were aided by the release of this early teaser trailer:

See that? Nazis on the Moon! And they’re coming back! So yeah, the idea for this film is certainly awesome. But does the finished product live up to this wicked awesome premise? Let’s find out with a quick synopsis. I’ll try and keep it spoiler free.

In the year 2018, The President of the United States (Stephanie Paul), under the advisement of her… adviser Vivian Wagner (Peta Sergeant) launches a new manned mission to the moon in order to help with her re-election campaign. One of the astronauts is shot when he discovers a secret Nazi Moon base on the satellites dark side. The other, a black gentleman by the name of James Washington (Christopher Kirby) is captured by the lunar fascists under suspicion of being a an Earth spy. Meanwhile Renate Richter (Julia Dietze) is a young teacher who is lecturing her students about ‘the most unpatriotic language’, English, as it’s the language they need to know for when they return to those who need their help the most. She seems to be fully devoted to the Nazi cause and more than a little brainwashed, believing that Hitler was well-liked on Earth and that Charlie Chaplin’s film ‘The Great Dictator” is a loving, short-film tribute to the Fuhrer. She also happens to be a perfect genetic match for Klaus Adler (Gotz Otto) whose ambition is to become take power from the current Moon Fuhrer Wolfgang Kortzfleisch (Udo Kier) and lead the future invasion of Earth himself.

That’s pretty much an introduction to the major players of the film and their situation at the beginning of the film. I’ll leave the rest of the story a mystery because you should probably watch the rest of the movie yourself. So yeah, spoiler alert, I enjoyed this movie. At heart the film is a satire, in particular of the extremes to which the American political process seems to go to these days. For example, the way that the American President and her adviser react to the Nazis when they make themselves known to them is all about the American parties, the Republican Party in particular and the degtree to which some people view that party as having lost it’s mind a little. The fact that the President herself is a pretty on the nose parody of Sarah Palin just drives the point home further.

Around the web I’ve seen the film compared to ‘Dr. Strangelove’ a few times and, whilst it is a fun and funny film, it is not ‘Dr. Strangelove’ good although few things are so perhaps that shouldn’t really be held against it. The film even has a little homage to Kubrick’s classic film as well as a pretty dead on parody of that scene of Hitler yelling from ‘Downfall’. If you’ve ever used YouTube, you know what scene I’m talking about.

Now, as for the negative aspects of the film, well, it’s a low budget effort so some of the acting isn’t exactly top quality tohugh that kinda helps add to the cheesy feel that a film about Moon Nazis probably should have. Yes, a film like this certainly should have a certain cheese factor to it. The first time I watched this, however, I felt a little differently. Based on that trailer above, particularly due to the music, I thought that this was going to be a serious movie about Nazis from the moon invading Earth and I was actually a little disappointed when I found out it wasn’t. Having watched the film again, however, I can say that they got the tone just right and, as the reactions to ‘Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter’ have proven, sometimes a premise is so ridiculous that it can’t be taken seriously and any attempt to do so will be met with indifference or ridicule.

Overall this really was an enjoyable experience and the little film funded by fans certainly deserves to be seen by as many people as possible especially those who get excited at the phrase Moon Nazis! Four beers out of five.




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